Lawyer's got us by the - our lawyer.... any advice?

Sorry you are having this trouble. It's very likely you can get another lawyer, one who won't mind waiting on some pay if it's like you describe...since you paid the first lawyer your new lawyer can get that jerk off your back and maybe recover the money, or some of it for you. Some lawyers are jerks some are not. You might also wish to look and see if there is a legal clinic for low income people in your area. Or, you local office of the Bar ociation. Good Luck!