Thursday, August 18, 2011

I farted on my kid, she collapses. Is this a crime?

So I was doing some work around the house, I thought the wife and kids had gone out shopping for the day. However one of my kids, my 8yr old daughter, was left at home. I was unaware of this and walking around the house in my tighty whities, and doing some home improvement after a breakfast of fruit loops and milk (I'm lactose intolerant by the way, but no one was supposed to be home so it didn't matter). As I was working in the basement, I bent over to get some tools, and my daughter sneaks up behind me and says "hi daddy!". This scare the crap out of me and I let out loud, powerful, stinky, poot! Right in my daughter's face! She catches the full whiff and collapses on the ground. I thought she had ped out but she was luckily ok, but very shook up. I'm still in my underwear, so after reviving her I rush to get dressed. She is in tears and I feel awful. Am I in trouble? Will she be ok?

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