How can I get my pet horse to turn into a Unicorn???

I read something from I Love My Unicorn Magazine and it said that if you cant get a real Unicorn but you have a horse, you can turn your horse into a real unicorn by lathering it in turkey gravy and letting it soak for 2 hours...HELP! its not working and i want a unicorn so me and ma grl darci can ride her into the magical land of far far away!!! help! =D ur being a good citizen if you do answer this question!! =D